Holidays.

Holidays.

Birthdays.

The worst is the Holiday season.

Birthdays were never a big deal.

Holidays. a cloud of sadness blocks the sunshine of happiness.
That lump in my throat it is larger around the holidays.

The tears behind my eyes, they fall around that time.

Hot and fast. 

It never gets better.

My heart feels empty, my soul is sailing. 

Pumpkin pie and Christmas trees.

Music and presents.

Laughter and hugs.

Wine and hot cocoa.

Everyone sits and smiles.

I'm the sad one.

The angry one.

Everyone else smiles.

Every holiday is the same.

 Memories, that pass too fast.

I grab them, before they slip away.

The tears won't stay behind my eyes.

The lump in my throat gets bigger.

It won't go away.
The ache in my heart won't go away.

The memories pass too fast.

All I see now is red velvet cake.

Pineapple upside down cake.

Mommy can you bake the cake for me I'm tired?

Mommy did you like the cake, even though it fell apart?

It was really good.

Wine.

Thanksgiving, Christmas.2011

Every Holiday feels empty except 2011.

The last one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rest in Peace Mommy 4.17.12